'I need my peace and my freedom back': Frustrated and overwhelmed first time pawrent considers returning clingy cat after only two weeks

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
May 26, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

This first time pawrent hoped a furry friend would bring comfort and calm, but two weeks in, things are less purrfect companion and more clingy chaos. Instead of the independent cat she dreamed of, she adopted a sweet but seriously needy velcro kitty who's turned her home into a 24/7 meow marathon. Between constant meowing, tailing, fur everywhere, and overstimulation, she's realizing this may have been a catastrophic mismatch.

Despite being open with the rescue about her struggles, she feels like her concerns were brushed off with the classic "just give it time" fluff. But not every adoption ends in a fairytail and that's okay! She's planning to return the kitty (with a heavy heart) and hopes to quietly reclaim her peace, her pillows, and her naps without judgment.

Honestly? We get it. Sometimes the mews you need is your own. Loving animals doesn't mean you have to live with one, and knowing your limits is pawsitively responsible. Here's to both human and kitty finding better-fitting homes for their needs. No shame in knowing when to say meowt!

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    I'I made a mistake'
    via By MoonRid3r from Pixabay / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi, I'm posting here because I really need some support without the judgment. I've always loved cats, and since I'm child-free, single, and live alone, I thought getting a cat would help with the loneliness. I deal with depre son and have OCD, and I figured an ESA cat could be a comforting presence. I've never had a pet before, but I really thought I was ready.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    Well, I'm now two weeks in and realizing I made a mistake. I was hoping for an independent, low-maintenance cat that would do their own thing. But I adopted a very sweet, very needy velcro cat. She follows me around
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    nonstop, constantly meows for attention even after we've played and wants to be in my space 24/7. It's overwhelming. It honestly feels like I have a toddler in the house, and that is the exact energy I've spent my life avoiding.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    Cheezburger Image 10509864704
    via By Yuliya / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    I'm happily child-free for a reason. I don't want to be referred to as a "pet mom." That is so annoying to me. A pet is a pet. I got her to be a companion not a dependent.
    via u/Front_Competition354
  • 07
    She's not doing anything "wrong," but her energy level, clinginess, and constant need for stimulation are just not a match for me. I feel agitated, overstimulated, sleep- deprived, and my OCD has been on 10. There's cat hair
    via u/Front_Competition354
  • 08
    everywhere, the smell of the food is gross (I'm vegan), and I've barely had a moment to just relax in my own space. I miss my clean, quiet home and just being able to lay in bed undisturbed.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    Cheezburger Image 10509858816
    via By Family video / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    What's made it harder is that I've been honest with the woman who adopted her out to me. She's been checking in, and I've told her the truth that I'm not sleeping, that the cat needs more attention than I expected, and that I've been feeling overwhelmed. But instead of
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    validating that, she just keeps saying "oh, she'll adjust," or "it just takes time." And honestly, I've noticed that's a common theme in the pet community: any sign of incompatibility or stress just gets brushed off with "give it time" or "you'll get used to it."
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    That attitude isn't fair to people or the pets. If someone knows deep down that it's not working, pushing through for weeks or months just adds more guilt, more frustration, and more confusion. It should be okay to say "this isn't a match" without being treated like you're a bad person.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    I'm planning to return her next week. Already feel attached. I feel guilty, because she really is sweet but the overwhelming and negative feelings outweigh the moments of joy. I see so many ppl enjoying their pets and was kind of sad I didn't feel the same way. This experience has taught me that I can love animals and still not want to own one yet. And that's okay.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    This was my first pet at 30 years old. I tried. I really did. But I need my peace and my freedom back. I want to clean my house, get rid of the cat hair, and finally take a long, guilt-free nap.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    I guess I'm just posting this here to find support. I already know I'll be judged even if people don't say it to my face. But if anyone here has been through something similar, I'd love to hear how you handled it, especially the return process and the guilt. I don't plan to make a big announcement to friends or family. I just want to quietly do what's best for both of us and move on with my life. Thanks for reading.
    via u/Front_Competition354
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    Mr-Bojangles3132 Just do it. Don't hesitate. Do it. The longer you wait, the deeper the hole you will dig. and it will be that much more difficult to be free from it.
    via u/Mr-Bojangles3132

  • Better to rehome early than be stuck in a catastrophe! Giving your furriend the right home sooner means more purrs and happiness all around. Keeping it pawsitive for everyone involved!

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    ZZ... No judgment here. Your sleep is more important than something that's only adding more stress to your life. I think you're doing what's responsible for trying to give her a chance at finding a loving home.
    via u/zZzzXanaXzZzz

  • Sometimes doing what’s best for you is what’s best for everyone, furry friends included. It’s okay to paws and put your own peace first. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

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    bouncy-belly-gigg... I get the guilt, you brought this living being into your home that's dependent on you with the hopes of bonding with it, and you don't want to cause it harm. Rehoming the cat isn't just what's best for you, but also for the cat. It will have a good life with someone else.
    via u/bouncy-belly-giggles
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    ElonsMuskyFeet You tried and it wasn't for you. No shame in prioritizing your own well.
    via u/ElonsMuskyFeet
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    Important Valuabl... Went through the exact same and rehomed my cat after 2 weeks. It was difficult but it was what was best for me. Do it, it'll be okay.
    via u/Important_Valuable_8
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    Trixierose166 Some people are just not pet people. It's as simple as that. In my personal opinion and experience, pets fill a very specific void that some people don't have. I adopted a dog once thinking it was going to be the best thing
    via u/Trixierose166
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    ever based off of what other people told me, and I had the worst case of puppy blues. I felt guilty because I wasn't enjoying him like everyone said I would.
    via u/Trixierose166

  • Not everyone’s cut out to be a pawrent, and that’s totally okay! Knowing your limits is pawsitive growth. Better to be honest than force a mismatch.

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    Agitated_Suspect... Pets are supposed to be enjoyable! And are a lot of work at the same time. Give the cat back, you deserve to be happy. I have two cats by choice because I enjoy them so much, i don't mind cleaning and a little mess
    via u/Agitated_Suspect_646
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    here and there. But we are not the same, you should do what feels right for you, at the end of the day a cat is just a cat. You are far more important!
    via u/Agitated_Suspect_646

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pets adopted pawrents Cats advice cat owners feline kitty support
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